#4 — Stop Controlling
Control is one of the oldest protecting mechanisms your mind uses. It is the ‘helper’ that fear calls after you have experienced trauma. Control creates the rules to prevent the past from re-occuring. This sounds noble and just, but eliminates so many blessings and love Abba Father is sending our way.
My mission with this newsletter is to help you understand what control does, how it influences your life and how to get rid of it.
Control suggests unconsciously that Abba Father does not have your back, won’t protect you and will allow the same trauma to reoccur. If this is true, then we need to throw out Romans 8:28, Psalm 91 & 23 as well as Jerimiah 29:11, etc.
After being confronted by love and fear being intertwined, the Holy Spirit prompts me to look at my love definition. If I want to experience more love, then I need to know what is limiting my love experience in the first place. Our definitions are the boxes in which we experience life.
I discovered my love definition being:
If I love you, then I have to control you for your own protection.
If you love me, then I have to allow you to control me for my own protection.
If I love you, then I will sacrifice myself.
If you love me, then you will sacrifice yourself.
Because I’m your wife, you ought to.
Because you are my husband, I ought to.
Love is an obligation.
Nothing is free; payment needs to be created constantly.
Fear of not loving enough or fear of being abandoned.
When I took a long hard look at this definition, I realized how it was impossible for me to experience Abba’s love. My mind blocked out EVERYTHING that is not in line with my definition. Remember, this is what the mind does. It only allows you to see what you believe to be true. If you, therefore, believe that Abba Father is able to abandon you, then you will never be able to experience His love for you.