Exit the Triangle – Part 3
Part 1 – Exit the Triangle
Transform from rescuer to guide
Let’s be honest, everyone experienced trauma in their lives. Every single person responds to trauma differently. It is also impossible to label trauma because it will be different for each individual. You might experience something as traumatic when I do not, and vice versa.
In regards to this triangle, people respond from being a victim in their lives either through the rescuer entry point or persecutor entry point. Meaning, they deal with their trauma by entering the rescue position or persecutor position.
For me, the most natural thing to do is rescue. Not only was it my entry point from trauma, but it is also part of my personality. It took me 8 years to realize this and transform into being a guide. Though my natural instinct is to rescue, I have to consciously CHOOSE to guide every time.
Yes, this is a process and it’s a new muscle I started to use which will become stronger and stronger as time goes by. Thus, be patient with yourself as you discover new things you need to let go of.
You might not be sure if you are a rescuer or not, so here are a few “fruits” of being a rescuer:
• Easily feeling used, betrayed or nothing you do is ever enough
• Highly emotional and sensitive
• Internalize emotions – blaming oneself for others’ pain
• Zero boundaries – making every problem your problem
• Over-responsible for wanting to be everything for everyone
• Control or calculate to prevent
• Treat yourself the way you were treated as a child
• Turning into a martyr; feeling you have to sacrifice yourself so others can be happy
Remember, I can only share this because I used to be a full-on rescuer. Frankly speaking, it was part of my survival technique to keep me moving forward. I’m not sure what would have happened to me without it. It was a program running that was part of my journey and it was also used by Abba Father for His glory and everyone’s good. There came a time, though, when it was outdated and then the program had to be uninstalled.
Why am I sharing this? I do not want you to judge yourself if you are an unconscious rescuer, because the Holy Spirit will reveal to you when it’s time to transform into the guide and leave the pattern.